I can't stop listening to .... Blu and Exile

This album came on shuffle on my commute the other day - kinda forgot how much burn I gave it when it first came out.  Here are some tracks from both Below the Heavens and his Valentine's Day mixtape, HerFavoriteColo(u)r last year. Speaking of which, in one of the great stomach punches in mixtape history, he sampled the Clive Owen/Julia Roberts scene from Closer on said Valentine's Day mixtape. Here you are listening to some nice relaxing jazz samples and boom, that comes on. There's nothing quite like hearing an Ella Fitzgerald song play in the background while hearing Julia Roberts, seething with venom, deliver the "It tastes like you, but sweeter" line that hits like a knife to the heart. That scene might be the single most devastating depiction of a relationship ending in movie history. Is there a worse movie to have seen on a date than Closer? Also, tell me he doesn't look like Ish from Old School.

Blu feat. Miguel Jontel - Cold Hearted

Blu - My World Is

Blu - Amnesia

Blu - In Remembrance of Me

I can't stop watching .... the Muppets in 1080p?

Takes a while to load given the quality but seeing my boy Gonzo in HD makes it worth your while. Check youtube if you want to see the properly sized version.

I can't stop listening to.... Animal Collective

Animal Collective put out one of the best albums of the year, basically on the strength of two songs. They just released a new EP and this song almost rivals those. Once it settles in around the 3 minute mark, it's just mesmerizing. Here it is along with the two tracks off Meriweather Post

Animal Collective - What Would I Want? Sky

Animal Collective - My Girls

Animal Collective - Summertime Clothes

I can't stop wondering .... who is less intimidating than Coolio

Sadly, DMX's mixed martial arts debut has been put on hold. So out of all the washed up rap stars, the promoters chose... Coolio as his replacement? As much as I owe my current culinary skill to his Emmy quality cooking show (see below), it got me thinking, is there a less intimidating rap star to be pitted against in a cage fight? He's 56 f'ing years old, is rail thin and has shit locks for hair. Having said that (Curb anyone?), in his prime he at least had a little size. I think the President of the "rappers I'd be least scared to fight" would have to be Flava Flav. He clearly isn't all together, can't be much taller than me and would be weighed down by all the flair he wears. That, and I'm sure years with Bridget Nielsen has left him physically and emotionally weakened. Other members of the club include MC Hammer (same logic as Coolio), Jermaine Dupri (what is he, like 5'2"?), Nelly (presuming he didn't have the St. Lunatics in his corner), Kanye ("Don't touch the face"), and Pharell (aside from the name of his group, he's just too pretty). I didn't include Asher Roth, because he's a no-talent ass-clown and I refuse to recognize him as a rapper. Also left off the list are all of the Lil's because, well, none of them are intimidating and most are fucking kids. Who else do you think should be the president or member of the club?

My friend Andy can't stop..... throwing out perverted one liners.

"This girl texts me: 'I'm subbing a 1st grade class today and there's a terror child named Andy... I've never had to yell the name Andy more in my life, haha..'"

I respond with: 'Well, we'll see about that.'"

I can't stop thinking that..... Nicolas Cage is a human Dementor

My hatred of Nic Cage goes way back and is to the point of unreasonableness. I can't really put my finger on why I hate him. For those of you having read Mike's OC column, this would be the flip side to not being able to describe what you like about a girl. Maybe it's because of his penchant for overacting. Maybe it's because of his willingness to star in even the crappiest of movies. Maybe I'm just jealous because he dated Penelope Cruz. I don't know, the bottom line is that I despise the man. (Note: I promise this post has some contemporary relevance and is not just unprovoked hatred on Nic Cage, not that he doesn't deserve it and far worse).

I can't stop laughing at ..... fake bronzing

I wish these were photoshopped  I can only imagine what our buddy CJ, the patron saint of bronzing, would have to say about these. Reason #218 that I'm a Delaware Beach kid and not a Jersey Shore bro. In other news, I can barely contain my excitement for MTV's Jersey Shore series. Their true life "I live at the Jersey Shore" was a seminal moment in the series and one of the greatest sources of unintentional comedy of all time.

I can't stop raving about...Tilt-shift Photography

I love art, but anyone who has seen me attempt to draw anything can attest to the fact that I am not artist. Anyone who has seen me at an art museum can attest to the fact that I am not an art critic (though, as with many things in life, I may pretend to know what I'm talking about). That being said, I am not a huge fan of photography...not sure why but it never really got me like painting or sculpture (or maybe I never got it). Maybe its that i like texture or for some reason I could see myself replicating the great pieces of photography a lot easier than I could see myself sculpting or painting. Maybe its that painting and sculpture seem timeless in some respect while photography is ephemeral. All of that being said, I have seen a lot of these tilt shift photos/videos going around. I don't know the technique behind it (and even if I did it wouldn't mean anything to me) but all I know is the results are amazing. Basically each photo looks like a miniature or toy version of the subject. I think they are amazingly cool to look at, so I thought I'd share. I think I like them because I loved building cities with Legos as a kid and it reminds me of that feeling of being able to build an entire town (or I have a God complex and like the feeling of ruling over everything - you choose). Here are some photo examples and some video examples that combine tilt-shift and time lapse.

From Ben Thomas (which is my favorite)




From Vincent Laforte

Colorama - Makeover from Upper First on Vimeo.

Bathtub III from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Here is a link to 50 Beautiful Examples of Tilt Shift Photography from Smashing Magazine.

We can't stop fighting like schoolgirls...over the best show ever left off the list?

So the order of shows is hard to argue because a lot of it just comes down to personal preference, but what shows are included on the list is a matter of great debate. There are some glaring omissions; Chappelle, Sex and the City, Sons of Anarchy (which will get its own post in due time) and I would argue Scrubs but others will disagree. But I think we can all agree the biggest omission on this list is about a gang of high school misfits just trying to make it through the daily struggle that is life. This show provided us with a glimpse of what life is like when you are trying to balance water polo practice, banging your friend’s mom and dealing with a gay dad. As illuminating as the Wire was for urban issues, this show had the same effect for the plight of privileged, clever kids in modern Suburbia. That’s right; I’m talking about the OC.

Trying to describe this show is like answering that stupid question that girls love to ask “What do you like about me?” If you actually like the girl, it’s not an easy question to answer because the truth usually is everything, so you say something stupid like your laugh or you eyes because to say everything is to say nothing. Well, OC I love everything about you, so I hope this makes sense because it may just come out as me liking your eyes or your laugh, but sometimes it’s hard for me to express why I care for you oh so deeply.

Let the love fest begin.

We can't stop fighting like schoolgirls....

So we're gonna start with #1 and #2 on the list, mostly because I have a feeling Mike is going to agree with me as to #1. I hate to disappoint Anonymous but I can't hate on their rankings here. In fact, had they put anything other than the Wire as #1, I would've spewed enough venom to make even Mike blush. Anyone who disagrees that this is the best show of the decade either has terrible taste, or hates democracy. With the possible exception of the beginning of Season 5, the show never had a weak moment. The casting, top drawer, the characters, compelling. Each season tackled something that is going to shit in this country viewed through the lens of our futile war on drugs. I'm half-surprised Republicans didn't boycott the show as being unpatriotic. Everyone I know that discovered this show late immediately got addicted to it like it was that new W.M.D. from the Towers. For some, their life mission is to convert people to the way of the Lord; I have a higher calling, converting people into Wire watchers. The show is just one of the many reasons Mike should be thankful he knows me.

I can't stop listening to .... Wale

So I first came across this guy two summers ago right around when he released his Mixtape About Nothing.  I was bound to love any mixtape that combines hip hop and Seinfeld and this was no exception (JV sound-mixing aside).  I went back and downloaded his other mixtapes, which were much more accessible and less conceptual than a Mixtape about Nothing.  I also saw him with Mike last year and he put on one of the best hip hop shows I've been to, even if he did get destroyed in a freestyle by one of the opening acts (subject of a later post).  Even Mike, who hates basically every live act other than the Hold Steady enjoyed himself.  Problem was, he still hadn't put out a studio album, even though you'd think he'd sold as many records as Kanye from all the self-hyping he was doing.  Enter Attention Deficit, which finally released last Tuesday as his first full-length studio album.  As much as I love the witty lyrics throughout, unless you're a huge fan, I'd save the money and buy something tighter (like a movie ticket to go see Precious or two four packs of Reed's Ginger Brew).  The two mixtapes I linked to are better, and most importantly, free.  I'm pretty sure getting it for free is the new re-up anthem.  That said, here are some of the tracks I can't stop listening to.  The first is actually from one of the older mixtapes that's probably my favorite of his.  The second is the opener off the new album. The third is another track off the new album, and was produced by one of the guys from TV on the Radio.  Number four is also from the new album, and the final track is the closing song from his last mixtape.

Wale - W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E.

Wale - Triumph

Wale - TV in the Radio feat. K'Naan

Wale - Contemplate

Wale - New Soul

We can't stop fighting like schoolgirls....

over the best TV shows of the decade. So Mike stumbled upon the AV club's opinion as to the best TV shows of the decade. Naturally, we, being newly minted lawyers at work, spent the next hour or so arguing back and forth about the list, in between extended diatribes on Republicans' patriotism. Anyway, we decided to make a running segment out of the link. Basically, we're going to pick a show for each post that both of us have seen, and debate its place on the list or shows that we feel should be on the list that were snubbed. In all likelihood this will eventually devolve from us engaging in a high-minded Lincoln-Douglass format into us hurling classless insults at one another. Essentially, this is going to be us doing what we do best, which is hate, both on this list, and each other.

I can't stop watching....Jay Cutler throw interceptions

because its all he does...and I love it. Here is what's like for me: So you had this first true love who was perfect in every way, despite looking like a horse at times. But you had to stop dating because she had bad knees and wanted to go out as a champion. And then for awhile you dated some really mediocre girls who didn't do it for you. Some looked homeless. Some got drunk and fell down a lot. Some you only went out with once and never heard from them again. Then this girl came along.

I can't stop hating....DirecTV's weak attempt at revenge

I guess DirecTV read my earlier post and didn't like hearing the truth...so they decided to take matters into their own hands and exact some revenge...on my dog. DirecTV almost killed my dog - and it could kill yours. Find out how...

I can't stop wondering ..... Who is going to lead the defense against the war on the middle class....

now that Lou Dobbs is gone? The middle class just lost its General Patton, or General McClellan, I'm not sure which.  Now that he's gone, who is going to hate on immigration more than Silky Johnson hates on Rosie O'Donnell?  And who's going to carry the banner in mainstream media for the lunatics still contesting Obama's citizenship?  As his boys from the South would say, "Buena suerte, y vete con viento fresco."  I can only hope this is some play to start a presidential bid in 2012, or a move to get out in advance of a love affair with an illegal alien.

I can't stop watching .... ESPN's 30 for 30 documentaries

Over the past few weeks, ESPN has been airing a series of one hour documentaries to commemorate their 30th anniversary, but because of the baseball playoffs, they have gone largely unnoticed. For those of you who read the Sports Guy, you're already familiar with the concept behind the project.  It's pretty simple: ESPN brought in 30 directors to tell a story about each of the years in which ESPN has existed.  The stories tend to be based on events that for whatever reason, haven't resonated as much today as they did at the time (with the possible exception of the Len Bias doc, although it was news to me that Bias' death was the impetus behind the current crack/cocaine sentencing distinction fraud).  The concept is great and the stories so far have been compelling.  So far, there have been movies about the Wayne Gretzky trade, the Baltimore Colts marching band, the USFL's demise (and Donald Trump's general douchiness), the Ali-Holmes fight, and Len Bias' death.

That's not to say the project doesn't have its shortcomings.  For one, some of the stories feel like they should be full length docs, others feel like they should be 20 minute short films.  Regardless, all are shoehorned into an hour time slot.  My biggest beef though is with the commercials.  I just find it hard to believe that ESPN doesn't have the paper to eat the hour slot, or the clout to find a sponsor to sponsor it commercial free.  Shortcomings aside, the series is definitely worth DVR'ing.  The clip below (after you guessed it, more fucking commercials) is an excerpt from the Ali doc about his fight with Larry Holmes, which has been both the best doc so far and the saddest - you can almost see the transition from the old Ali to the one with Parkinsons.  The series airs every Tuesday at 9:00 and ESPN is planning on a marathon to re-air all of the old ones before the new set starts back up in December.  Get familiar.

I can't stop listening to....Canadians

I wanted to post something else I hated, but I understand that some of you may need to be eased into just how much I hatred I can spew at things I know very little about, so I decided to share something I love - Canada. No, this isn't a band, its a real, live country complete a flag and everything - you know, the one to the north that most of us just refer to as America's hat. Well, I love Canada. Its given us the amazing Sarah Chalke aka Dr. Elliot Reid. Its given us the overrated but much fawned-over Arcade Fire. And let's not forget the 80s pop sensation Robin Sparkles. When I was a spry 19 year old, Canada also planted the seed that would later blossom into my amazing love of gambling. But this year Canada has given us something even better - amazing music. I have been listening to two bands in particular from our neighbors to the North; Japandroids and The Rural Alberta Advantage. (Notice the use of the semi-colon, btw). Anyway, these two albums came out a while ago, but have constantly been in my rotation. Enjoy. And feel free to share other amazing Canadians.

Japandroids - Heart Sweats

Japandroids - Crazy/Forever

Japandroids - Young Hearts Spark Fire

Rural Alberta Advantage - Don't Haunt this Place

Rural Alberta Advantage - Sleep All Day

Rural Alberta Advantage - The Deadroads

And, of course, the best Canadian song ever.

I can't stop watching.... UP!

Usually, I'll leave movies to my buddy Chris over at bip-bip, since his DVD collection puts some weak Blockbusters to shame, but for some reason this movie struck a chord with me. With the exception of Cars, I've loved every Pixar movie. I can't exactly put my finger on what it is that makes animated movies resonate so much with me, aside from my child-like fixation on bright colors. Part of it I guess is my continual amazement at the way in which Pixar movies mix humor with more serious adult undertones. I think another reason is that animated movies aren't limited by the quality of their actors in conveying characters' emotions to the audience and are able to do a lot with voice-overs. Maybe most importantly, I find talking animals to be almost universally hilarious.

Whatever the reason, UP was amazing. For the people that write off this movie and cartoons in general as being too childish to enjoy as high-art, two things: first, get serious, and second, this is far from a children's movie.

I can't stop believing that .... there's a cosmic sense of justice in the universe

Justice in one of its many forms

I can't stop hating on....Josh's alleged Steelers fandom

Hey, Josh, there is a football game tonight. Did you know that? I know you have been confused before – as evidenced by the picture to the left – so I just wanted to make sure you knew about it. I am only pointing this out because I know it’s early in the football season, so you may not have decided just how involved you are going to be with the Steelers this year. We know you were a football atheist for much of your life – who is a boy to root for when he is from York, PA? But, when maturity and puberty came to you in college, you realized you had to have a team, so you looked around and jumped on a bandwagon, of a team that would win two super bowls in three years. Now that’s fine, I too suffered from a bout of badwagonism in my life (See the 2004 Red Sox) but I realized the folly of my way – I realized when they won it didn’t mean as much to me as true Sox fans, just as when they lost it didn’t hurt as much. You on the other hand still claim to be a Steelers fan, yet we all know that you don’t really care. Sure, you may like to rib Chris if the Steelers beat the Bengals, or make fun of the ineptitude of the Browns to CJ when they destroy them, but deep down its all a charade – you don’t really care. I know it, you know it, why don’t you take this opportunity to publicly announce that when its all said and done you don’t give a fuck about the Steelers? Its fine, we will be okay with it…I promise. And that way you can root for the Eagles when they make the Super Bowl without a guilty conscience.

As exhibit A I would like to introduce the following evidence of a g chat conversation we had earlier this month (I haven’t heard back from the bar yet, so I am still relying on pretending to be a lawyer to get me through these tough times)

me: you are the worst sports fan
there is no team you actually care about
Josh: duke and the orioles
thats it

Also – I would like to point out that you aren’t an Orioles fan. In typical Josh fashion, you jumped on the Phils bandwagon last year because…wait for it….they had a chance to win the championship. Shocking.

So, in summary Josh - you are a disgrace to true sports fans everywhere and I speak for the group when I say do us a favor and please stop pretending to care. Go back to the fucking kitchen where you are more comfortable and away from the TV sets (note: this is not to be construed as a sexist comment, Josh enjoys fine cuisine and should stick with what he knows). And, oh yeah GO BRONCOS!

I can't stop laughing ...

Not sure which is more ridiculous - at least the latter presents some sort of basis for the claim.




Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare

I can't stop listening to .... the xx

Interested in hearing what they sound like live on Friday.

The xx - Islands

The xx - Night Time

I can't stop .... getting familiar

Links to everything you could possibly want to know about the healthcare bill

I can't stop laughing at ..... the D-bag Solidarity Movement

Funny as it may be, I happen to agree with this take on the overuse of the word d-bag, something that I am guilty of (you may remember that from such posts as this morning's comment to Mike's Philly diatribe). Here's to resolving to use the word only to describe its most deserving recipients.

I can't stop laughing at... Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Melissa Joan Hart gets PWN3D by Jimmy Kimmel

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I can't stop hating....Philadelphia

What a terrible fucking city. The sixth borough of New York has to be among the worst places in America - it has all of the worst parts of New York (mainly douchey, self-important East Coasters) and none of the good parts of the City (culture and personality). And have you ever met anyone that went to UPenn that wasnt a giant douche (we fucking get it, you went to an Ivy League School. Sucks you couldn't get into one of the prestigious ones)?* So not only is Philly filled with terrible people, it contains in its borders a factory that takes relatively normal people and turns them into horrible people. I'm not even exploring the whole booing Santa Claus, booing drafting McNabb then blaming him for everything that goes wrong in the city and housing in its Metropolitan area the parents that spawned a she-devil and general life ruiner.

I could put my hatred of Philly aside for awhile - even when they beat my beloved Rockies. But not tonight...tonight pushed me over the edge. You let the worst, most hated organization in all of America rise from the abyss it had been in for the past 9 years. And you didnt make it fun to watch - it was predictable - Brad Lidge blows a game. Shocking. Cole Hammels can't throw anything other than a fastball and a changeup and gets punished. Shocking. Ryan Howard strikes out more than Josh when he enters the kiddie end of his so called dating pool. Real big fucking shocker. America hadn't been this united behind Philly since 1776 and to no ones surprise, you let us down. Thanks a lot Philly. You fucking suck.

*This excludes Scott Bernstein. BFFEAEA.

I can't stop listening to..... serenity now music

One of the public transit unions here in Philly, whose members on average make 52K a year plus full benefits and pension not to mention guaranteed jobs in this economy, have decided in their infinite wisdom to strike, which has turned an otherwise relaxing commute into a teeth-gnashing test of will. Here's a smattering of what I've been listening to in lieu of constantly uttering "serenity nows" and eventually snapping at the first person who has "Party in the USA" blaring too loud on their iPod.

The National - So Far Around the Bend

Bibio - Haikuesque (When She Laughs)

Bela Fleck - At Last We Meet Again

American Analog Set - Know By Heart

Miles Davis - Flamenco Sketches

The Cinemamtic Orchestra - That Home

It's a Surprise

I can't stop dreaming about.... being able to shine like this.

Roman Abramavich's lunch bill from the other day.

I can't stop hating on....DirecTV

I would say on the list of things I love (I don’t only track those things I hate), Denver Broncos football and Friday Night Lights both rank in the top 25. One single entity is denying me the pleasure of seeing both – DirecTV – and for that I cannot stop hating it. Through their absurd exclusive deal with the NFL, I am unable to watch the Broncos unless I go to a sports bar (of which SF has very few) where I never get any sound or the pleasure of actually watching the whole game in comfort. Furthermore, I am denied the pleasure of watching Coach Taylor and more importantly, Misses Taylor and even more importantly, Julie Taylor until DirecTV’s exclusive rights over FNL runs out and NBC decides to pull its head out of its ass and air the show in the summer of 2010. One stupid company denying me both the Broncos and FNL – FML.

I can't stop reading..... Eating the Dinosaur

Full Disclosure: I loved Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, so Eating the Dinosaur was bound to be right in my wheelhouse. For those of you who haven't read his stuff, Klosterman is essentially a pop-culture essayist in these two books. The books really don't have any kind of cohesive theme. Instead, they read like a collection of essays that on their surface state outrageous or absurd claims (Kurt Cobain is a lot like the leader of cult from Waco in the '90's David Koresh), but actually deal with something much broader (how self-perception influences the production and sale of an art form). Part of the appeal to me is the in-depth examination of the inane. One of my favorite essays is his discussion of the use of time travel in movies in which he gives 8 bullet points that list all of paradoxes of time-travel, a discussion Mike and I have had on numerous occasions both drunk and sober.

I can't stop laughing at ....

Colbert Sponsors an Olympic Team

I can't stop listening to. . . .Phantogram

Phantogram - Mouth Full of Diamonds

Great, great song. Evidently they also have amazing live shows with beautiful visual art. And most importantly, they are on twitter.

I can't stop lusting after. . . .a midnight blue stress tester

Evidently scientologists celebrate Christmas - that is L Ron Hubbard decorating a Christmas Tree...honestly. But you can't get a scientologist any gift - you have to get them special Scientlogist-approved gifts found in the Scientologist Holiday Guide. Below is a link to that guide, which is pretty amusing. Mom and dad, I promise I have done all of my auditing this year and want to thank Xenu for bringing us to Earth doesn't quite roll off the tongue as easily as I promise Santa I have been good. But then again I'm Jewish so its all make believe to me!

Preclears on Your List? The Scientology Holiday Catalog

We can't stop.... being inept at running this blog

Sorry to all three of you who tried to click on our music links the last few days only to find nothing worked. Hopefully we fixed the issue going forward.

I can't stop listening to. . . . Julian Casablancas

I would say I listen to this song about 5 times a day and never just once - if I hear it one time I have to hear it at least two times - I think its fair to say I literally can't stop listening to it. Enjoy.

Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension

I can't stop raving about. . . .Amazon

Maybe this isn't the best label for this, but Amazon has some amazing deals on mp3s.

Fist, they have a deal where every month they offer 50 albums for $5 bucks - and its not crappy stuff no one wants to listen to - they are legitimately good. For example, this month they are offering Jay-z' Blueprint 3, Daft Punk, the Clash, Art Blakey, Flight of the Conchords, Grizzly Bear and....John Secada? I just bought the new Antlers CD, which is supposed to be great - havent given it a listen but maybe it will be posted on a later I cant stop listening. Three albums they are offering at $5 that I think are pretty good are Blitzen Trapper's Furr, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and the Heartless Bastards. I have posted songs of theirs below.

Second, they also have a deal of the day, where they offer an album everyday for two or three dollars - its often a new releases or something else worthwhile (I have bought the Blueprint 3 for $3, Passion Pit for $2). I follow them on twitter, and they send an update everyday with the deal. The link to the twitter account is below.

And yes, the Amazon stuff works and is fully integrated into iTunes - as soon as you download the songs, iTunes adds the songs to your library.

So for those of us that like to get at least some of our music legally, Amazon has a lot to offer.

50 albums for $5 can are here

Amazon's deal of the day

Blitzen Trapper - Sleepy Time in the Western World

Blitzen Trapper - Furr

Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros - 40 Day Dream

Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros - Home

Heartless Bastards - Out at Sea

Heartless Bastards - The Mountain

I can't stop listening to..... "New York is not my home"

Whilst I wondered about the streets of West Village last night in my child's size princess costume in the rain that ruined my pink slippers, this was the song that was on repeat in my inner monologue.

Jim Croce - New York is Not My Home

I can't stop hating on.... High Fructose Corn Syrup

High Fructose Corn Syrup is dead to me. I've hated this stuff for a while, but my hatred has recently crystallized after our trip to South America and a trip yesterday to NYC. Not only has it ruined sodas, I'm pretty sure the stuff is behind our country's obesity, the diabetes epidemic, Arrested Development's cancellation, and the continued strength of Al Qaeda. Yesterday, I was drinking a Boylan's Root Beer and it was like a party in my mouth. What was the reason for this unexpected trip to flavor country? The soda was made with real cane sugar. Soda is objectively better with real sugar. Anyone who's been to Latin America can attest to this. Unfortunately, Big Corn has its meathooks just about everywhere, so I'm forced to go to random bodegas in holy grail-like quests for Coca Cola with real sugar. Passover sucks, except for the fact that grocery stores actually carry the stuff then. If I ever decide to run for public office, a HFCS ban will be central to my campaign.