I can't stop hating on..... Monopolies

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I love the game of monopoly, have since I was a youth (read: ute). Two years ago, I was even Mr. Monopoly for Halloween. But when it comes to businesses, especially those in which two players already dominate, monopolies really chap my ass. It's been a while since there's been some good old-fashioned hatred on this blog and it's high time for some to return. It is only fitting that the first hatred of the New Year be directed at something which has festered in me for some time now, the proposed Ticketmaster and Live Nation merger. 

Where to begin, well first of all, if you enjoy going to concerts, you almost certainly have to deal with them.  Live Nation now owns a ton of smaller venues and exclusive deals with artists, forcing you to deal with them if you want to see a concert at that venue.  Ticketmaster is just as ubiquitous if not more so at the larger venues and has its own subsidiary which has exclusive deals with over 200 artists.  What exactly does that mean? Well, for one, facemelting fees.  In looking at tickets for a show the other night I wanted to go to the other night, Live Nation tacked on additional fees that added up to 50% of the face value of the ticket. Ticketmaster has three separate categories of fees they tack on to ticket prices.  The government charges 2.50 per flight in Airport Security fees, these clowns get away with charging 4 times that per show. They charge you a fee for printing out your own tickets for christ's sake.  Why? Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you purchase batteries.... I don't know.
Nirvana - Rape Me

I can't stop thinking that..... Nicolas Cage is a human Dementor

My hatred of Nic Cage goes way back and is to the point of unreasonableness. I can't really put my finger on why I hate him. For those of you having read Mike's OC column, this would be the flip side to not being able to describe what you like about a girl. Maybe it's because of his penchant for overacting. Maybe it's because of his willingness to star in even the crappiest of movies. Maybe I'm just jealous because he dated Penelope Cruz. I don't know, the bottom line is that I despise the man. (Note: I promise this post has some contemporary relevance and is not just unprovoked hatred on Nic Cage, not that he doesn't deserve it and far worse).

I can't stop hating....DirecTV's weak attempt at revenge

I guess DirecTV read my earlier post and didn't like hearing the truth...so they decided to take matters into their own hands and exact some revenge...on my dog. DirecTV almost killed my dog - and it could kill yours. Find out how...

I can't stop hating on....DirecTV

I would say on the list of things I love (I don’t only track those things I hate), Denver Broncos football and Friday Night Lights both rank in the top 25. One single entity is denying me the pleasure of seeing both – DirecTV – and for that I cannot stop hating it. Through their absurd exclusive deal with the NFL, I am unable to watch the Broncos unless I go to a sports bar (of which SF has very few) where I never get any sound or the pleasure of actually watching the whole game in comfort. Furthermore, I am denied the pleasure of watching Coach Taylor and more importantly, Misses Taylor and even more importantly, Julie Taylor until DirecTV’s exclusive rights over FNL runs out and NBC decides to pull its head out of its ass and air the show in the summer of 2010. One stupid company denying me both the Broncos and FNL – FML.

I can't stop hating on.... High Fructose Corn Syrup

High Fructose Corn Syrup is dead to me. I've hated this stuff for a while, but my hatred has recently crystallized after our trip to South America and a trip yesterday to NYC. Not only has it ruined sodas, I'm pretty sure the stuff is behind our country's obesity, the diabetes epidemic, Arrested Development's cancellation, and the continued strength of Al Qaeda. Yesterday, I was drinking a Boylan's Root Beer and it was like a party in my mouth. What was the reason for this unexpected trip to flavor country? The soda was made with real cane sugar. Soda is objectively better with real sugar. Anyone who's been to Latin America can attest to this. Unfortunately, Big Corn has its meathooks just about everywhere, so I'm forced to go to random bodegas in holy grail-like quests for Coca Cola with real sugar. Passover sucks, except for the fact that grocery stores actually carry the stuff then. If I ever decide to run for public office, a HFCS ban will be central to my campaign.

I can't stop hating ..... on Ed Hardy

Hilarious story about the "genious" behind the Ed Hardy phenomenon. After reading this, I now at least have some idea as to what kind of person could possibly design such crap. As to what possesses a person to pay $100 for one of these, well, as the Owl from the Tootsie Pop commercials used to say, "the world may never know..."
The Emperor Du Fromage