We can't stop annotating.... the pinnacle of cinematic creation

For those that dont know, Josh and I spend a good 75% of our day talking to each other online. I would like to tell you every conversation is about worldly, important topics, but if you read the blog you've seen how our minds work, so you know we usually walk with line between 13 year old girls and 16 year old guys. Josh recently found this amazing video and we were both dying as we watched together, alone. We thought we'd give you a little insight into our minds by providing a dual running commentary of the video...


Alaska Nanooks 2010 Hockey Intro from Szymon Weglarski on Vimeo.
JS :01-:17 - Don't tell me I've been duped into another Chicago Bulls ripoff.... the link said this was the greatest film our species has ever created, but WTF, the CGI is terrible on this thing, what was this guy talking about?

JS:31-:34 - Wait.... this is promising. Apparently this bear is possessed. Oh no, did this ship just free Megatron after the Autobots buried him in the depths of the North Pole??? I'm going to be pissed if video somehow involves Shia Leabeouf.

MK :35 – I thought the problem with the Polar Bears was that they were drowning because of a lack of ice. I guess we all misjudged the problem and the Alaskans have put their finger on the real reason for the species struggle – they are all hibernating in ice which is just stupid. Maybe we should let survival of the fittest have the day - I say fuck the polar bears if they're too stupid to not realize sleeping in ice is a terrible idea.

MK:43 – So evidently Rayden was really a polar bear.

JS :44-:50 - Apparently the bear isn't only an 85 foot tall possessed sorcerer who can conjure light-saber like hockey sticks out of thin air, he's also a Communist since he's laying waste to this industrial ship for no apparent reason other than freeing him from his icy tomb

MK:47 – As an avid fan of Deadliest Catch I find the destruction of the fishing vessel gratutituous. Those dudes have enough shit to deal with – bad fishing, ice making their ships capsize, rogue waves and now fucking polar bears. The bear really fucking hates fishing evidently and somehow this is meant to inspire the fans of the Alaskan team? I guess they failed to realize the fishing is the second most important part of the state’s economy and probably employs a lot of the fans? Either way, destroying the fishing industry is not a good first post-hibernation move for the bear, as he might have wanted to eat some of the fish on board?

MK:58 – Maybe Sarah Palin should have touted Alaska’s bear squadron as an example of her foreign policy experience. Seems just as plausible as seeing Russia from her front porch.

JS:59 - Maybe these bears are all right, we seem to share enjoying laying waste to things whilst listening to Kenny Loggins

MK: 1:00 – Too close for missiles, I'm switching to guns?

MK: 1:02 – Nope missiles will work.

MK: 1:03 –Miami of Ohio? Really? Seems gratuitous and recently I’ve met a lot of Miami grads who I am quite found of – not cool. Though they did launch Wall World, so maybe it was just retaliation for bringing that ass hat into our lives.

JS: 1:00-1:07 - The bears not only hate industry, they apparently also hate education, especially schools in the midwest. Presumably this is because despite the prevalence of higher learning institutions, there are still a ton of idiots who refuse to believe in global warming putting at risk the bears' habitat.

MK: 1:04 - oh god...

MK: 1:06 – Yep – men can have multiple orgasms. Notice how those fucking bears didn’t mess with Michigan. Maybe they aren’t so dumb after all. (That and our hockey team probably pwns them so they really could not show that in any serious way). In any event I’m pretty sure this video is propaganda for Alaskan separatists - maybe we don’t need to worry about Al Qaeda but these bears.

JS: 1:10-1:22 - It's all clear now, they were trying to blow up the planet by nuking the volcanoes. Not sure of the science behind it... Ohhhh, I guess Earth isn't actually a planet but instead is the Death Star based on the explosion. Perhaps the bears shouldn't have blown up the colleges before realizing we haven't discovered life on other planets yet. I have no idea what the bears' motives are, but damn, you have to respect the amount of hatred they have.

MK: 1:16 – Well there goes earth. A few thoughts as I look back on the destruction of our home. I seriously am concerned we are giving Al Qaeda ideas for their next attack. Why is destroying earth a good thing? Without Earth there is no hockey so this video is moot - not sure. If their plan was to just take earth to begin with, why did they have to take out the universities first - they'd all be gone in the rapture anyway? Also, do the bears know about another planet we can inhabit and that’s their rendezvous point? I really think I underestimated these bears. Now I am advocating their extinction because I fear them.

MK: 1:25 - Where did his helmet and glasses go?

MK: 1:34 - I remember that chapter in a Brief history of the universe about the importance of a hockey stick in understanding/defeating the time space continuum (JS: - The bears have now formed like Voltron back into the super bear and are traveling through some sort of vortex. Maybe the bear is actually Jake Gyllenhaal and is traveling back in time to save his family from a crashing airplane, all thanks to the ramblings of a metallic rabbit...)

JS: 1:39-1:42 - Ahhhhh, I get it, it isn't actually another planet, Alaska is just a metaphor for one. I guess the creators are making excuses as to why they allowed Sarah Palin to avoid the wrath of these bears and elect her governor

JS: 1:42-1:49 - This super bear never ceases to amaze. He's not just bipedal, he's managed to master the triple deke. I guess this answers the question as to where Gordon Bombay has been hiding... in Alaska teaching penalty shot techniques to a sloth of bears hellbent on destroying the planet.

MK: 1:50 – Looks like the bear was gonna play a team of women looking to get knocked up because they just pulled the goalie on him (ZING!)! Not to be denied, he makes sure he takes full advantage...

JS: 1:57 - This bear is a menace. He blew up the fucking goal for the game he's supposed to be getting everyone hyped for. I think it's clear that with all the gifts this bear was blessed with, foresight was not one of them, because clearly they can't play the game now. Also, am I to believe the bear is that powerful that he can blow non-flammable objects up via slapshot? Maybe this can all be explained by the bear also possessing Gambit's power of turning objects explosive. (MK: That wicked hard slapper would have made Al Iafrate proud. Naturally it produces fire. With so much fire following this bear, how did he ever survive in the ice?)

JS: 1:57-2:11 - The University of Alaska hockey team everyone!!! Where kids learn to destroy industry, lay waste to education, blow up the planet and train Al Qaeda. This video sponsored by the Committee to elect Sarah Palin President.