Sadly, DMX's mixed martial arts debut has been put on hold. So out of all the washed up rap stars, the promoters chose... Coolio as his replacement? As much as I owe my current culinary skill to his Emmy quality cooking show (see below), it got me thinking, is there a less intimidating rap star to be pitted against in a cage fight? He's 56 f'ing years old, is rail thin and has shit locks for hair. Having said that (Curb anyone?), in his prime he at least had a little size. I think the President of the "rappers I'd be least scared to fight" would have to be Flava Flav. He clearly isn't all together, can't be much taller than me and would be weighed down by all the flair he wears. That, and I'm sure years with Bridget Nielsen has left him physically and emotionally weakened. Other members of the club include MC Hammer (same logic as Coolio), Jermaine Dupri (what is he, like 5'2"?), Nelly (presuming he didn't have the St. Lunatics in his corner), Kanye ("Don't touch the face"), and Pharell (aside from the name of his group, he's just too pretty). I didn't include Asher Roth, because he's a no-talent ass-clown and I refuse to recognize him as a rapper. Also left off the list are all of the Lil's because, well, none of them are intimidating and most are fucking kids. Who else do you think should be the president or member of the club?
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