I can't stop.... reviewing the year (in music) pt. 1

Album whose total didn't equal the sum of its parts: The Twilight New Moon Soundtrack. With artists like Grizzly Bear, Thom Yorke, Lykke Li, and Death Cab, this was a slam dunk. Thom Yorke- Hearing Damage

Soundtrack of the Year that was greater than the sum of its parts: Karen O and the Kids - Where the Wild Things Are

Song that perfectly describes that weird limbo after a relationship ends when two people continue to sleep together: Kleerup feat. Lykke Li - Until We Bleed

Artist who went from complete unknown to Artist I'd like to sleep with fastest: Anya Marina - Not a Through Street

Best use of lyrics about size D breasts as a means of satire - Kanye West- Throw Some D's on It (Cousin Cole Mix)

Best song to blare when Mike or any other haters come in yo area: Big Boi feat Gucci Mane - Shine Blockas

Best album to which I understood less than 30% of the lyrics: Amadou and Mariam - Welcome to Mali Runner Up (mostly because I passed the 30% threshold after going to South America): Nelly Furtado - Mi Plans Nelly Furtado - Mi Plans (manos al aire)

Song that deserves an award for bringing back the term "Sailor" to refer to a guy from whom all a girl wants is to bump uglies with: Camera Obscura - French Navy

Most inappropriate title for a debut album/mixtape- UKNOWBIGSEAN by Big Sean Big Sean - Tomorrow

Most inappropriate title for a song that is perfectly titled: Bibio - Ambivalence Avenue - Just because I'm not ambivalent in thinking this song is tight.

Most disingenuous song of the year: Drake - Best I Ever Had - Look, if the intro to the song says it's to all the girls out there, but the gist of the song is about one who is the best, it can't be about all of you. This song also wins the award for best use of a pop culture reference in a way that would have the creator rolling in his grave for comparing the Andy Griffith theme song to the sound Drake can generate from a female genitalia.
(Runner Up: Miley Cyrus for Party in the USA - my world was turned upside down when I read she's never heard ANY Jay-Z songs, let alone THE Jay-Z song)

Most pompous album of the year that I should've seen coming: The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love - any time a band makes an album and calls it a "rock opera" before it's released, you shouldn't be surprised when it's a bit arrogant. Concept albums are dead. The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

Album that was released in 2009 that sounds like it was released in 1993 but I'm totally into it: Diamond District - In the Ruff - Bring back the boom-bap. Diamond District - Streets Won't Let Me Chill

Album that was released in 2009 that sounds like it was produced in Early Fuck and whose sound is completely indescribable but I'm totally into it: Dirty Projectors - Bitte Orca Dirty Projectors - Stillness is the Move

Song that went from this is kind of catchy to if I hear it one more time I'm going to gauge my eye out with a blunt object: Jay-Z Empire State of Mind (Note: I refuse to post this song here since I have no interest in pulling an Oedipus)

I can't stop reading .... essays I should've read a while ago

Here are two long-ish essays from the New Yorke that David Brooks repped in a column last week. The first deals with health care and analyzes two cities as a means of determining what's wrong with the system. The second is an article on inequality in the justice system, more specifically about an inmate on Texas death row that may have been innocent. The article makes a compelling case for abolishing the death penalty. Admittedly, I may have found this article more compelling than the average person, since representing prisoners claiming actual innocence was what I devoted my pro bono time in law school towards, but regardless, I think most people would find it a little disconcerting that the State of Texas may have killed an innocent man.

McAllen, Texas and the Cost Conundrum

Trial by Fire

I can't stop thinking..... love actually is all around us

When it comes to watching and enjoying Christmas movies I probably fall somewhere in between "I DVR and watch every Hallmark movie" and "I can't fucking stand that punk kid Ralphie" on the Christmas movie watching continuum. While I still cackle at points through "Christmas Vacation", Love Actually has made a strong push to be my annual go-to movie at Christmas time and all time favorite rom-com. Sure Hugh Grant is a schmohawk, sure I'm willing to bet outside of Madison there isn't one girl as hot as Elisha Cuthbert or January Jones in Wisconsin, let alone three, and sure I can't watch any scene with the guy who plays Professor Snape without cursing him for killing Dumbledore/crying, but the movie just puts me in a good mood every time I see it. Maybe it's because Brits are automatically 17% funnier/more intelligent than we are because of the accent, maybe it's because the little kid has badass hair and is just generally boss, or maybe its because I thank God every time I see it we no longer have someone akin to Billy Bob Thornton in the Oval Office, I don't know.... but whatever it is, I love Love Actually. So instead of watching that little bitch get his Red Ryder Carbonite Rifle for the 763rd time in what I'm convinced is an NRA propaganda film, check out Love Actually.

I can't stop ...violating laws in the Torah

Keeping kosher was never really an option for me growing up. I think this point was nailed home when I ordered a massive side of bacon when my grandparents (the Jewish ones) took me out to breakfast at age 8. Despite looking on in horror while I consumed all 10 pieces, they never said a word. Mercifully, my parents never attempted to deny me such pleasures either and I've been allowed to enjoy things like shellfish, pork, or when I'm really trying to stick it to God, the holy trinity of breaking kosher laws, the bacon cheeseburger. This weekend for instance, I think every meal I ate spat in the face of Jewish Dietary law in one form or another, which brings me to the purpose of this post: Amada and the delicious demise of Winston Bunberry.

Every year my friends from high school and I get together around Christmas for a nice dinner. This year, after some research, I suggested Amada, in Old City (217 Chestnut St.) here in Philly. Amada was Jose Garces' first of his now four restaurants. Those of you who obsess over food like I do may know him as the newest Iron Chef. I had been there once before while I was summering at the law firm and noticed that if you called ahead order and had a party of four or more, you could order a roast suckling pig and get it family style. After hearing someone rave about it, and feeling particularly in the mood to taunt God, I decided Amada should be the site of this year's dinner. We were not disappointed (although the big guy upstairs made an awesome show of strength by dumping a record 22 inches of snow on Philly in an attempt to prevent me from enjoying it, which caused me to reevaluate whether I should be choosing restaurants or doing anything for that matter with the purpose of sticking it to him)...

This is what poor Winston Bunberry looked like after the chefs had finished with him. The chefs don't do anything fancy with the pig. They brine it overnight in a salt and sugar mixture and then roast it with minimal seasoning. The results are tremendous. I have never done heroin, but after eating this pig with its unbelievably crispy skin, I now have a greater understanding of what drove Jennifer Connelly to her public display of lesbianism in Requiem for a Dream. Every bite was a taste explosion. They even carve up the little guy table-side and you can request the offal and other portions of the pig that most people generally don't eat. My buddy Dan asked for the pig's cheeks, ears and brain, and five minutes later, Winston's head was gone and we had the delicious meat from the cheek in front of us.

Standing alone, I'd recommend the pig to anyone, but it also comes with four sides: grilled spring onions, roasted fingerlings with some balsamic, white beans with rosemary, and garbanzo beans with saffron and spinach. The white beans were particularly unreal, but all of the sides played a nice second fiddle to the pig. All in all, it was a meal fitting of a last supper. Aside from being delicious, it's also one of the best deals in city at $32 a head. Plus, I left with enough leftovers to make sandwiches all week. Although we ordered some tapas to start, I would be surprised if most people left having finished all the meat and sides. Basically, this dinner is it's own little slice of heaven, which I guess is just one more reason to think twice before spiting the big guy.

Iron and Wine - The Devil Never Sleeps

Regina Spektor - Laughing With

I can't stop...Reviewing the year

So I am about to embark on my journey to Africa aka the Great Ivory Hunt of ’09 aka Jews wandering the desert: redux but before I did that I wanted to leave you all with a little present – my year in review. I apologize in advance if some or a lot of these comments seem like inside jokes, as I remember the year I usually think about the times I spent with other people and unfortunately (or fortunately in some cases) I could not be with all of you. I also apologize if this comes of as a little Joycean – there is no method to this really. Here goes nothing. Frank Sinatra- It was a Very Good Year

Biggest regret of the year – marking B instead of C on question 175 of the MBE on the California bar. Failing the bar is bad, but failing by one multiple choice question (3 points out of 4000) is worse. Oh well, I guess it just means bar trip 2.0 if I do it again in February. See you all in Thailand in February - we can ask Jeff David where the best massage is.

Year’s best premature celebration – A close one between Barack’s inauguration being a sign of real change and my bar trip. Barack still has time to redeem himself and certainly some things are changing. I guess I do too, but given the insanity of the trip I’m going with Bar Trip 1.0, since all I really had to celebrate was wasting a summer with Jeremy’s inappropriate comments, Tasa’s insanity and summer starters.

Years best wedding I was at – Sosa’s. Truly an amazing spectacle with more abuelo rum than was probably healthy. The most surprising thing of the whole evening? no one outside a certain groom vomited. This also won for best cameo by an unknown latin rap group, best demonstration of why americans are better than Panamanians and most sober Jeremy has ever been when the situation actually called for drunken revelry.

Years best wedding I was not at – Ellen and Jordan’s. Again, my apologies for not being there, but it sounded like a blast– Ellen you did a good job following Beyonce’s advice by putting ring on it.

I can't stop ..... coddling Mike...

In part two of my coddling of Mike, I give to you another band from Africa in honor of his upcoming trip. Amadou and Mariam put out one of my favorite albums from '09 - Welcome to Mali. Here are four tracks off of it, including one featuring the root cause of this coddling, K'Naan. Mike, as a quid pro quo for these two posts, I will be expecting you to return with the bust of some endangered species or blood diamonds for me. I will also accept the head of a gypsy if Africa is also being blighted by them, since I know it would pain you greatly to kill one of your own kind.

Amadou and Mariam - C est Pas Bon

Amadou and Mariam - Masiteladi

Amadou and Mariam - Africa

Amadou and Mariam - Magosa

I can't stop listening to .... The Very Best

Mike, ever in need of constant coddling, is feeling a little bit unappreciated after nobody gave him love for his K'Naan post. With that in mind, I've decided to dedicate my next two posts to him and his upcoming trip to Africa. Sadly, given the blog's name, I can't very well stop blogging while he is gone, so this is the next best alternative. These tracks are all from a band called the Very Best and their album "Warm Heart of Africa." The trio who makes up the band comes from, you guessed it, Africa and the style I guess is best described as afro-dance. Hope you enjoy. In case Mike gets impaled by a black rhinoceros or tries to finally make good on his threat to start his own country by overthrowing a regime and starting his own reign of tyranny, let's welcome him to the list of things to "Never Forget" along with dinosaurs, the Holocaust, the fifth of November and Crystal Clear Pepsi.

The Very Best - Warm Heart of Africa

The Very Best - Nsokoto

The Very Best - Kada Manja

The Very Best - Julia

I can't stop listening to...K'naan

I'm not going to write something long here - this music is just amazing. Seriously. Listen to these songs. Then thank me in the comments.

K'Naan - Take A Minute

K'Naan - Waivin' Flag

K'Naan - Dreamer

K'Naan - I Come Prepared

I can't stop thinking that..... we should've seen this coming.

If only we took more of our cues from Star Wars, we'd have less racism, more respect for the environment, appreciation for bounty hunters  and less Joe Lieberman.  He's been on notice for a while, but with his recent questionable opposition and flip flopping on health-care, he is now dead to me.  It's not the fact that he opposes it, it's that he's seemingly doing so just to screw over Democrats who turned their back on him in '06. Obama extended an olive branch to him by suggesting he keep his chairmanships when he should've been put out to the pasture for his past indiscretions.  Now, I'm just waiting for him to pull a Hulk Hogan and reveal the NWO shirt during the floor debates, because I'm pretty sure he's not smart enough to pull a full Senator Palpatine.

I can't stop...asking an expert, part 2

Dear reader(s) of this blog - my last post featured Beth answering some hard hitting questions about the likelihood of STD transmission via masturbation. Beth answered it was possible to spread STDs in this way, but the critics are coming out of the woodwork. Exhibit A - One Mr. Dave Chappelle. Known as a comedian, Mr. Chappelle offers some of the most astute social observations of our time. In this clip, he offers his take on the likelihood of AIDS transmission via masturbation. Basically he says Beth is full of shit*. Any response Ms. Linas?



*Here, the phrase full of shit is actually a euphemism for really has no impact on anything she said.